Dec
5
December 2008 – Communicating With Your Children
December 5, 2008 | | Leave a Comment
December 2008
Superintendent’s Blog
Communicating With Your Children
As a former High School Principal, I have had many conversations with parents about communicating with their students. Some helpful information that I have utilized through the years is the following:
Conversations with teens may be going along perfectly well when, without notice, they end abruptly. A conversation killer could be the culprit. Check yourself on each of the following questions by answering yes or no. Identifying the problem will give you a target at which to aim to improve your communication skills.
Ø Do I talk longer than a minute without giving my teen a chance to speak? (time yourself) Yes or No
Ø Do I talk about myself or my interests without spending at least as much time listening to my teen’s interest? Yes or No
Ø Do I assume that “getting the facts straight” is more important than “understanding feelings?” Yes or No
Ø Do I tend to tease or get back at my teen by things I say or the way that I say them? Yes or No
Ø Does my teen say that I think I am always right? Yes or No
Ø Do I find myself not knowing or understanding what my teen just said? Yes or No
Ø Do I tend to be dogmatic or argumentative? Yes or No
Some of these comments may vary with respect to yes or no responses, but they would give you a potential indicator of ways to better understand that dialogue you may be having with your child. These concepts are also applicable at any level of conversation, whether it is with another adult or an elementary, middle school or high school student.
Other things I have seen that have worked in the past include: when working with kids, raise the praise and minimize the criticisms. Five things that help praise work are:
Ø The praise should be authentic.
Ø The praise should be very specific with respect to why the individual is being praised.
Ø The praise should be immediate after the situation has transpired.
Ø The praise should be clean and very simple.
Ø The praise should be given in a private manner with the child.
In doing these things, it may help parents communicate effectively with their child at a level that may have not been open in the past.
I am open to any comments or suggestions that people have utilized that have worked for them either by utilizing information provided on this blog or information they have utilized themselves that is not listed on this blog that has been effective.
